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Eddie From Ohio


No Left Turns in Jersey

from: Big Noise
movin' and a shakin'
coming form the south
non-stop classic rock,
syndicated shock jock
running his big mouth
movin' and a shakin'
drivin' in a big Ford
destination Paterson
nothing else matters in
this garden on the seaboard

no left turns in Jersey
no u-turns at all
the out of state man
finds no mercy
driving through the concrete
of a Jersey wall

southbound scallywag
slowin down the thoroughfare
destination Orange Co.
a right to go to Orange
so the journey goes to Selewar
fuel-eatin' carpetbag
sixty in-a-8.9
left to go to Orange Co.
nothing rhymes with orange
so motor to the state line


ten and two now
sure you're buckled up?
a little voice says that the wiper-fluid's low
little voice, please shut up
I.P.D.E every time you ride
but 90-year-olds driving half their age
make euthanasia justified

peaches and fireworks
and big guitars
dinosaur parks
and the cider from the mill
try to reel in the car
signs along the highway
on 80-foot poles
exit then you learn
that you won't return
if you can't afford the tolls


no left turns in Jersey, no u-turns at all


Michael Clem, J Fish Music/ASCAP
© 1997